Complexity
by hundan
Summary: When Tony leaves the hospital he's left alone and he can't help but breakdown on his own. Only his partner can pick him back up and get him on his feet again. Set after Nature of the Beast.


**Spoilers for Nature of the Beast, so if you haven't watched the premiere yet, I would suggest you not to read this. **

**I hope you enjoy this one-shot, I've been working on it for a few days because I couldn't get enough of the premiere. Michael Weatherly needs an award for his acting brilliance!**

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><p>He's still a mess. He's still shaken by the past 48 hours and he doesn't know how to make it all better, he can't make it disappear and it's eating away at him like an unwanted termite. He was relieved to leave the hospital because it made him feel claustrophobic, the place gave him too many memories of the day his mother past and sharing that with Rachel had been hard. He couldn't believe he had broken down so much in front of her. He'd never shared the memories of his mother with anyone before, it just showed him how bad his emotions were right now.<p>

However, coming home wasn't making him feel much better. Gibbs didn't want to but he had to leave him because he had a meting with Vance and the SECNAV. Tony did not want to know what that was about, he was over with this stupid mission, he was done with it. Jarvis had used him and Tony knows the man won't be proud of what happened but Jarvis is the one who had chosen him in the first place and so Jarvis was at fault for how broken and pathetic he was right now.

Tony threw the whisky bottle to the floor in frustration, with both the bottle which wouldn't open and Jarvis and everyone else who had got him into this mess. The bottled shattered into a million tiny pieces and liquid covered his wood floor. Tony sighed and ran his hands into his hair, pulling slightly at the light brown hair which was on the verge of needing a cut.

He couldn't control the whimper that rippled through his body. His body hunched over as he leant against his kitchen bench, pressing his forehead against the cool hard surface. His body shook with emotion. He hadn't stopped shaking since he woke up in the hospital. It's unfair, it's unfair how he has been plagued by all his emotions at once, he's always had them locked away safely in the vault of his heart. But now he cannot control them and they slip through his defenses, making his heart and body ache, his eyes shedding fat tears.

He wished Jarvis had never chosen him, he didn't need this weakness in his life. He was meant to be strong and unbreakable, he was a cop, a federal agent. He's better than this pathetic display of weakness, but he cannot help it. He needs to get control of himself.

He doesn't hear the person enter his apartment right away, when they unlocked his door his ears were drowned out by his own sobs. He only realizes the presence when he hears the cracking of glass beneath the person's feet and his body became ridged in fear of who it was and how he had let them come all this way without knowing. His defenses were down and he wasn't on his game. If he paid for this with his life, it would be his own worthless fault.

As soon as her hand crept up his back softly he relaxed immediately. _She_ wasn't here to hurt him. And he couldn't help but let her see the state he was in right now, he couldn't stop. He was a train wreck that had been on a crash course for far too long.

"Tony" she whispered. His name falling from her lips softer than ever before and he could hear that worry tainting her words again. Just like it had in the bullpen days earlier. His voice tried to form a reply but all he did was choke on another gurgle of emotion. She must think he's pathetic, that he's not worthy of the Senior Agent title he holds because he's acting like a two day old Probie.

When he doesn't reply he feels her body shift closer, her body is pressed against his hip and her hands are both heavy on his back, pressing into his tension filled muscles. He lets out a sigh. He hadn't known that his back was in pain like that, obviously she had. It clamed him slightly and he felt his tears fall silent, she had a way of doing this to him, comforting him. Like no one else ever could and he doesn't know why.

Maybe it's because she's his partner, but he doesn't really know because the complexity of their relationship is something he doesn't think he'll ever understand.

When he's finally able to construct a sentence he speaks up.

"You shouldn't be here" was the stupid statement he had to make. Why did he have to constantly lie to her? He knows he needs her here, more than anyone. But he doesn't like for people to see how vulnerable he really is. Her hands still on his back and he wonders what she's going to say.

"Do not say that Tony" she said quietly, controlled. Voice tense with an emotion he doesn't recognize in her voice. Not an emotion he's used to hearing directed at him anyways.

"I'm weak, pathetic" he breathed against the tabletop. Her hands suddenly moved again and she wrapped one around his front, hand stilling against his chest before she softly pulled him up off the bench, bringing him to stand straight, to face her. As soon as his eyes caught hers he was worried. She looked upset. Don't say that he did that to her?

"Tony you are not weak or pathetic, you are one of the strongest men I know" she whispered. Her hand came up to the side of his face and his heart tightened in his chest when her fingers wiped away the remaining evidence of his tears. Her eyes locked heavy on his.

"Can you really say that after what you see right now?" he asked. Her hand soothed over his check and her fingers trailed softly into his hair. This was such an intimate gesture that he wondered what Ray would think right now if he saw this. But sometimes with the way she looks at him, he wonders if Ray really matters that much.

"It does not make _anyone_ weak just because they show emotion Tony. It just shows you how human they are, how much heart they have" she stated, her other hand pressing right above his heart on his chest. He didn't know what to say right now. He knew deep down that she was right. Its funny how when she's upset he's the one to comfort her and then the roles are so easily reversed when he's upset. He doesn't deserve someone as good as her in his life.

Her eyes dropped from his for a moment and the hand on his chest curled around his shirt.

"I was worried about you" she admitted and he realized then that he hasn't seen her since before his dance with death "When Gibbs called and said you were at the hospital…you are lucky you wore your vest Tony. I don't think I would have taken it well if you hadn't of looked after yourself" she said. Her eyes lifted and connected with his. He realized that she had struggled when she found out what happened to him.

"Well you had said please" he smiled a little, trying to pass of with a joke because suddenly the air in here was thick and he was feeling dizzy from the intensity of this emotional moment. It must have been a mixture of his crippled heart and the after affect of his concussion.

"Tony" she warned. She was not ready for him to start reflecting everything with his jokes. _They_ were better than that, they were closer than that. His eyes flickered from hers briefly before returning.

"Sorry, I know I scared you but I didn't have much of a choice in what I was doing" he stated, being honest this time. She watched a flash of anger flare in him. She knows something was making him angry, the smashed bottle across his floor was a prime example of that.

"Hey, you know its ok, you were following orders, you didn't have a choice" she said, her thumb brushing against the top of his ear. He knows if there was one person who understood taking orders it was her. They'd had a few discussions about what it meant to follow orders over the years.

"Yeah but Jarvis could have let me pull out, I tried-" his anger broke out, not at her but at Jarvis. Her finger pressed to his lips silenced him.

"I know Tony, I know. But please do not get angry, I do not like it when you get like that, it means you let him win, you are better than him" Ziva stated, trying to calm him down again. How was it that she had managed to crawl into his heart like this without him knowing? She could make him calm just like that.

"If I don't get angry I get upset, and I don't want that" he confessed. Her deep brown eyes were staring up at him.

"Sometimes it's good to let it out. _I _do not think any less of you and I am the only one here, it should not matter, no one else knows" she said. No one else knows when she touches him like she is, talks to him so tenderly like she is. On one else knew what they were truly like behind closed doors. No one. He nodded slowly at her and when her hand dropped to his neck and he felt her pulling him a little closer he couldn't help but fall against her, his face buried itself into her shoulder.

If he was holding on too tightly she didn't say anything about it but his arms wrapped around her as he clung to her like she was his lifeline right now. And maybe she was. Her hands were playing with the ends of his hair on his neck and if she was doing it to relax him she was succeeding.

He let out a deep breath into her shoulder, feeling the tightness in his chest and ache in his heart fade. He was going to be ok, he had her by his side so he was going to be _ok._ She went to pull back when she felt him relax around her but his arms tightened, his hands gripped at her shirt softly.

"Please, just a little longer" he whispered against her skin. There was so much emotion in his voice when he pleaded her like that that she didn't think she could ever say no.

"Ok" she whispered back, her hands finding their home around his neck again and pulling him close, so close that he molded perfectly against her. Right now when he needed her, she was here.

He wasn't letting go anytime soon, it's like if he let her go he would crumble and breakdown again. She didn't want that so she was happy to stand here and hold him, they'd never been so affectionate for so long, but she was very content. She was so comfortable in his arms that it scared her a little.

His phone began ringing and if it was even possible his arms tightened more. He didn't want to move to get it.

"Tony, you have to get it" she whispered. Pulling her head back and gently lifting his face to meet her eyes. His eyes still held a weakness to them and she knew the after effect of this mission would take a little bit to get over. Maybe she would just have to stay here and hold him for the next few days. If that's what it took, she would do it. No need to think about it for one second.

"Zi…I don't want to" he groaned. He didn't really want to talk to anyone besides Ziva right now. She was calming him and that's what he needed right now, he didn't need any more stress. And Ziva saw that in his eyes. She brought her hand up to his cheek, tracing her finger down his cheek softly. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"I will get it, but you need to let me go first" she smiled up at him. There was a softness to the look she gave him and one that held promise. If he let go she wasn't going to go anywhere, she will still be right here if he needs her.

"Alright, thanks" he whispered as he slowly let his arms fall loose around her frame. She ran her hand into his hair and the way she scratched his scalp a little made him smile a bit more.

"Maybe while I'm on the phone you could clean up? I would hate it to stain" she said, looking down at his broken bottle over his wooden floor. He sent her a small nod before fully stepping out of her personal space. He immediately felt the loss of the comforting heat that she brought, but it would all be ok.

Ziva walked into the lounge and found his phone still ringing and discarded on the couch. Seeing Gibbs on the caller ID she answered it.

"It's Ziva" she said into the phone once she answered. There was a short pause over the other end before Gibbs spoke.

"Is he ok?" Gibbs asked. The worried tone in his voice rung in her ears, it wasn't very often that Gibbs was this open and sensitive. She looked through to the kitchen where she could see Tony beginning to clean up his mess.

"He is going to be ok, I think" she replied, really unsure. Gibbs must have picked up on that.

"You think?" he asked. Ziva made sure she lowered her voice, she didn't want Tony hearing.

"He was really upset when I showed up, he's calm now but it wasn't good Gibbs. If I ever see Jarvis I won't hesitate to let him know what I think" Ziva replied a little sharply. When it came to Tony, she always had his back. She heard Gibbs sigh.

"I don't think that's wise for an Agent just out of her probationary position Ziver" Gibbs said. Ziva knew he was right.

"It does not matter, Tony is important and I am his partner, I will stand up for him" she replied.

"I know Ziver. Leave Jarvis to me alright? He's not getting off this that easy" Gibbs promised her. She knew if Gibbs was going to do something about it, and it wasn't going to be in the most professional capacity either. However she trusts Gibbs with this, he always had Tony's back.

"Alright Gibbs" she replied.

"How long you going to be there for?" Gibbs then asked her. Honestly she didn't know. She would stay as long as Tony needed.

"As long as he needs me here" she replied. Her boss knew just how much of a partner she was to Tony and it wouldn't surprise her if he knew they were close.

"Did you need me to bring you an overnight bag?" he asked. Yep, Gibbs knew them well.

"I've got my bag out in the car so I should be alright. Will you stop by later though?" she asked. She thought it would be good for Tony to see Gibbs. She knows Tony looks up to him a lot.

"I'll bring over some food when I'm done here at the office" he said.

"Alright, see you later Gibbs" she replied.

"Take care of him Ziver" Gibbs added before hanging up. It was rare for Gibbs to even reply before hanging up, Gibbs must know that Tony is taking this hard.

She quietly walked back into the kitchen and he was bent down on the ground, wiping up his mess. It was going to take a while to clean up. She bent down too and began picking up all the bits of glass. His eyes were on her and when she looked up to meet them she knew what he was thinking.

"It's ok Tony, I will not let you clean up alone" she said, reaching out and patting his shoulder. He just gave her a small smile before going back to what he was doing.

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><p>He's quieter then ever and it bothers her because she knows he's still troubled by everything. She watches from the kitchen as she makes him a hot drink and he's just sitting there on the couch staring into space, no movie playing, nothing. She doesn't know when the last time he'd been like this, she doesn't think he's been this bad before. Not even after Jenny, after Jeanne. Jarvis had really screwed with Tony's head.<p>

She knows that his goofiness and sense of humor is a way to hide what he is really feeling and what's deep down inside him that eats him up, but she hopes that for once he'll open up to her about it. She knows he needs a bit of guidance right now and she wants to give that to him, be the support he needs.

She takes the warm hot chocolate through to him in the lounge but when she stands by him he doesn't make an attempt to move much. She contemplated just placing it on the table in front of him but she knew he wouldn't drink it if she did, so she reached down with one of her hands and gathered his in hers. Locking eyes with him.

"You will feel better if you drink it" she said as she placed the mug into his hands and wrapped one of his hands around it, making sure he held onto it.

"Ok" he said and gripped onto the mug. She smiled softly at him and sat down on the coffee table in front of him, knees just brushing his. She watched as he took a small sip from the drink.

"Good?" she asked. She was glad to see a smile light his face, even though it was only about a quarter of the size of his normal ones.

"Yeah. You always make the best hot chocolates" he replied and took another sip. At least he was drinking. If she suspected right he wouldn't have had much to eat since being at the hospital, and even then he wouldn't have eaten much. She knows he doesn't like hospitals. She reached out and placed her hand on his thigh.

"Gibbs is going to come over soon, bring some dinner" she announced. She wanted him to know, so if he didn't want anymore company in his home she would know.

She watched his eyes drop to his lap. She knew why, he didn't want Gibbs to see him so weak. He had something to prove to his boss. But right now Gibbs wasn't playing that role, Gibbs was being the supportive father figure he needed. She needed to make sure Tony understood that. She moved her thumb back and forth along his leg.

"You know he is not going to judge you, he understands" she stated quietly. His eyes didn't lift to meet hers but she noticed his eyes following the movement of her hand.

"You really think so? Or are you just saying that?" he said. His voice soft and unsure. He wasn't sure about much at the moment, he's lost his balance, he doesn't know and he should when he knows someone so well and it hurts to see.

"I do really think so Tony, I would never lead you to believe something I thought was wrong" she stated. She watched as he brought his hand out towards hers, softly gripping his fingers around hers and running a soft thumb along her hand.

"I don't know what Rachel's told him" he suddenly said, changing the topic slightly. She wasn't sure where this conversation was going so she just went with it.

"Are you worried there's something she's going to say to him that you don't want him to hear?" she asked. His hand was still clasped around hers and again he wasn't doing so well at letting her go. Maybe physical contact was something that helped him heal emotionally.

"Something's I'm not proud of that happened in the hospital" he said. There was a strange tone to his voice and she had a feeling that it was regret.

"What happened?" she asked, making her tone soft. She wasn't forcing him to answer but she knew he would none the less. He was consoling in her right now.

"I…I cried, right in front of Rachel. I don't remember the last time I cried" he admitted. She knows deep down Tony's not a man that won't show emotion but it takes a lot of work and breaking down of his walls to make that emotion surface. His hand tightened a little around hers because this was hard for him to admit. Even though Ziva had seen him cry a little while ago in the kitchen, he still did not like admitting it.

"I do not want Gibbs to know I cried" he added. Why must he continue to think crying made him less of a man?

"Even the strongest of men cry Tony, Gibbs is no exception" she replied. She knew things she maybe shouldn't about her boss, and maybe she shouldn't tell these things to Tony, but for the sake of Tony understanding, she thought it best of him to know this. Tony's eyes finally lifted to meet hers.

"Gibbs cried in front of you before?" he asked, not trusting his ears for a moment. She hadn't noticed but somehow both of her hands had ended up in his fiddling fingers, mug long forgotten on the table next to her. Had she been so focused on her conversation with him that she hadn't noticed this?

"No, _I _have not seen him cry. But an old friend of mine once consoled to me a story about a man she loved and how he broke down in front of her when she'd been shot in the thigh, because he'd already lost a lover and couldn't afford to loose another to death" Ziva admitted, letting the secret slip from her lips. Tony's eyes widened a fraction as he realized who it was she was talking about.

"Jenny" the words were mumbled from his lips in deep thought. He knew she and Jenny had been close once, before Ziva had joined NCIS when they were in Cairo. Ziva nodded.

"Yes, there is no shame to a man who cries, he will never hold it against you" Ziva said, getting back to her original point. She didn't want to share too many secrets that Jenny had confided in her. It seemed as though after hearing that, Tony felt a lot more at ease with his boss seeing him how he is right now, broken. It would be ok because even though Gibbs would never show Tony his broken side, Tony knew it was buried somewhere deep within him. Like Tony's had been before it was ripped from him and bared for all to see.

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><p>Gibbs doesn't know if it was right of him to come now or not because he feels like he's rudely interrupting something. He's been here for an hour now and the room feels as tiny as it did when he first arrived. His eyes won't leave the two agents on the couch together, because he just simply can't look away. They are never this open at work, but maybe that's because the bullpen is <em>his<em> territory and this apartment is surely not his to patrol.

He's not saying he's mad at what he sees, he's just a little surprised. Tony, he's worse than he thought he was and he has a feeling that's not good because he knows that Tony was worse before Ziva had showed up earlier. Gibbs had stumbled upon the evidence of Tony's smashed whisky bottle when he was throwing away the dinner scraps. Sometimes he was glad that these partners were so close because he didn't know who else could calm and comfort Tony so easily like Ziva does.

They obviously don't realize they are so close right now or they simply don't care that he sees what he is. Because there's no space between them on the couch –there's at least two thirds of the couch unused right now- and her legs are propped over his ones and his hands are tracing small patterns along her jeans. He's not looking up at anything, his eyes simply following the journey of his fingers. And maybe this was something far too intimate for him to be witnessing but they don't seem to be bothered by it. And maybe they think he's not watching from where he stands in the kitchen, but he knows they are not that stupid. Of course they know.

She's whispering something to Tony but he cannot hear what it is they are discussing, even if they know he's watching they are smart enough to keep their voices hushed on the things they don't want him to hear. Whatever it is that is said Gibbs is thankful for because it brings a small smile to Tony's face as he returns a reply and just a taste of a smile on his face at the moment meant everything. Tony needed to be happy again, even though the jokester side of him could be irritating sometimes, truthfully it was something that held his team –and even him- together some days on those hard cases.

It doesn't go past him the fact how comfortable they are right now, how close their relationship could really be out of work. But he's not about to worry about that. Things mean so much more than that at the moment. Tony is in need of this comfort and he's willing to let Ziva do whatever it means necessary to have him on his feet again. He knows she'll do it, no matter how long or how much comfort his Senior Agent needs, she will be there for him.

He watches as Ziva says something and Tony finally lifts his eyes to look at her. There's a pain underneath the surface of those eyes and Gibbs isn't sure how long this is really going to take, for Tony to get back on his feet. She says something again and Tony shakes his head, even from here Gibbs can see the younger mans eyes tear up a little and his jaw tremble in the emotions he refuses to let go of.

He hadn't seen Tony cry before, Tony was a very closed man, one who liked to keep his emotions hidden. He reminded him a lot of himself in that way. Which could both be considered as good and bad, for his job it was good but if Tony ever became committed to someone, he would find it hard to show his emotions. Maybe that's why the younger man never committed to anyone, he wasn't strong enough to emotionally do it. His father hadn't been much of a good example when it came to love and emotions.

But maybe there was someone Tony could be committed to because he wasn't having any problem with showing his emotions in front of his partner. When Ziva first came to America he wouldn't pick her as a woman to be comforting her partner one day just like this, this was really personal and something he would normally consider inappropriate at work if it were to ever happen. But when he thinks about it, if his two Agents together like this, so personally, helped, he was all for letting them do their thing. It worked, by the looks of things.

And by the way Ziva brought her hand to the side of his face, stroking his jaw line with her thumb in such a familiar way that he wondered how many times she had done it before. It seemed to comfort him and the way he looked up into her eyes, it was a real sight. Sure he'd seen them look at each other like all they wanted to do was jump each other like rabbits in the middle of the bullpen –which, until the day he dies, he will never let happen or even really want to think about – but this was something so different. Like everything else he had witnessed tonight, it was so personal.

He really hadn't expected it when Tony actually let out a whimper and fell against his partner's chest, clinging to her as his hands buried themselves in as much shirt as he could hold onto. She didn't seem bothered by it either, she responded almost immediately when she brought her hands around him, one holding onto his shoulder and the other softly running into his hair. Yeah, maybe it would be a good time for him to leave soon, he doesn't really need to be here for this. Ziva will look after Tony, he is very sure about that.

When he slips out Tony doesn't notice, and it's good because he doesn't want to interrupt the younger man. But he does catch Ziva's eye on the way out. Nothing is said but there's a silent conversation that goes between them. He's proud of her for the support she is giving Tony right now and she'll promise to take care of him.

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><p>She didn't know how they had brought up the conversation of his mother, all she knows was it was sort of sudden and the next thing she knew was he was breaking down in her arms. She didn't judge him one bit, not when it concerns his mother in such an emotional way like this. She knew Gibbs was still there but she wasn't sure where. She could feel his gaze on them but she wasn't too worried about what he saw. Then she'd watched Gibbs leave, he caught her eye on the way out.<p>

And she understood. Tony was unstable and he was really best left in her hands. She was the only one who was going to get him on his feet again. He wasn't able to seek that comfort from anyone else, it was only her. And Gibbs seemed to realize that. She didn't like the fact he might feel a bit unneeded right now, that Tony didn't need his support. But there would be a time for that. When Tony was on his feet, his head on straight again with his walls constructed so he wouldn't falter, Gibbs would be the one Tony will go to. She just knows him well enough to understand that's what he'll do.

Right now, he's in the shower. She thought it–and suggested it- would be a good idea that he takes a nice hot shower, sooth his muscles and his thoughts. He needed to relax, that's how he's going to beat this and get back his strength.

When he emerges from the bathroom it's an hour later, she'd begun to worry that he wasn't even going to come out. But he did and she was waiting for him in the bedroom, she didn't have to ask to know he would want her to stay and that deep down he needed the comfort to hold her tonight. She didn't need to hear a word from his lips to know what the man needed. She understood him that well. Maybe that's why their partnership works so well.

He sends her a smile and it's a good sign because maybe most of the emotions trapped in him have all been drawn out and washed from off him. He slips into the other side of the bed and he doesn't even ask her where she found the shirt and boxers of his that she's wearing right now, because she knows where everything is in his apartment and it really doesn't bother him when she goes through his things. Well, he might joke about it not being ok but he really doesn't mind. He's comfortable with her.

He moves to lie on his back and after a short while of silence he rolls his heads towards her, catching her eyes with his.

"Thank you" he whispered. She turned over on her side to face him and couldn't help but reach over and brush her hand through the side of his hair. He smiled at the touch.

"What for?" she asked. He turned on his side to face her more and it made him come even closer to her. However her hand didn't leave the side of his hair and her fingers gently scratched his head. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and fall asleep to the feel of it.

"For everything you do for me. I couldn't do this without you" he replied, his hand coming up to rest at her hip, playing with the seam of his shirt she wore. She knew he was meaning the fact that she was here for him when he broke down, when he needed the support of someone. Someone to care for him.

"You know I'll always have your back Tony" she stated. Her finger tickling behind his ear softly.

"You do so much more than just have my back Ziva, I don't think I could ask for a better partner, or person in my life" he wasn't being emotional anymore, now that that had begun to blow over and he was gaining his strength again he was letting out honesty. Something he needs to get off his chest.

"I don't think I could ask for anyone better in my life than you as my partner either" she admitted. She sort of liked this honesty right now, it didn't happen very often between them. As of late she had noticed they had been much more honest to each other.

"You give me balance, you know that?" he stated. His hand had moved slightly higher up her waist and she didn't stop him.

"It's good to have balance and I'm glad that I can give that to you" she replied. Her thumb absently caressed the side of his cheek. Sometimes their relationship was so complex that it was hard for her to understand, but sometimes it's easier not to think about it and go with the flow of things. He smiled warmly at her and she's so glad to see his smile back after today.

"You're more than just a partner to me Ziva" he stated, his arm sliding around her back and pulling her that little bit closer so her chest brushed up against his.

"I always will be" she replied to him. She knew they would always be close, they would never not be friends. It's just the way they were, you couldn't let go of something this special. She found herself gazing into his eyes, not being able to take them away with the way he was looking at her, so openly with raw emotions flashing within his green irises.

His head inched closer to hers and she recognized his slight hesitance there. But when she didn't pull away from him and only leant in closer herself he didn't stop. His lips pressed softly against hers and the emotion behind the kiss was felt in trembles through her whole body. The electric touch of his hand on her hip and warmth of his lips on hers, the world was frozen mid spin right in this moment.

He only kept it light and she was grateful he had, because tonight wasn't about hot filled lust, tonight was about care and the supportive presence of someone you rely on. He pressed his forehead against hers while he let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. She couldn't help but relax and do the same thing.

"Thanks for being here for me" he said again. He couldn't stop thanking her enough. He could feel himself grasping onto his walls again and he wouldn't be the broken down and emotional middle aged man after tonight. Simply because she was there for him. Because she cared enough to take care of him when he needed it.

"I'll always be here for you" she replied. Her hand curled around his neck and she dropped her head into the crook of his neck. He felt the movement and pulled his arms around her more, hugging her closer.

She'd been so open for him toady, every single time he reached out and needed that physical comfort, she was there willing to give it to him. And they didn't hug much like this, they hardly result to physical contact because once it begins its hard to stop. But maybe it was a time to change things. Maybe this breakdown of his was a small sign to tell him that the woman he loved that he'd lost as a young boy -his mother- was not the only woman he was ever going to love. There is another woman there for him that would do anything for him, just like his mother used too, because she loved him.

Ziva was that woman. She had his back, she cared for him and she would hold him close if he ever needed it. And maybe Rachel was right because she seemed to know him better than even himself, he liked chicks with guns and he couldn't really deny he didn't. She mentioned Jeanne, the only other woman he had fallen for and then right after that she mentions Ziva. Maybe he and Ziva had much more going for them than what they already had because Rachel seemed to think they did.

And maybe he'll find out one day, maybe he and Ziva might do something but right now, right now all he's going to do is hug his partner close to his heart and fall asleep in her presence. When it comes time to go back to work he'll be ready because Ziva helped him heal.

It will be good to be a part of the team again now this stupid mission was over. He missed his team. Because they were a part of who he was and he didn't like going off on his own on secret missions. He misses his Gibbs slaps, he misses Probie's unnecessary computer rambles, he misses Abby's hugs, he misses Ducky's stories, he misses Palmers awkward moment statements that really make him laugh. But right now he doesn't miss Ziva, because he has her here in his arms and if he were to name the list of things he missed about her the list would be very long.

"Tony" Ziva voice mumbled against his neck in the middle of his silent thoughts.

"Yeah Zi?" he replied. Her hand tickled softly at his nape.

"Stop thinking, sleep" she stated. Her voice light and playful. A smile slipped onto his lips as he snuggled closer to her and buried his face in her mass of curls. This time not letting his thoughts ponder and he would just fall asleep.

He fell asleep knowing things would be ok, because Ziva was in his arms and nothing else would make him feel much better than that. Ziva was his mainstay.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading, I do hope you enjoyed it! I would love to hear your thoughts. <strong>

**Hundan. **


End file.
